Where has the village gone?

While scrolling online, I came across a meme the other day and as the saying goes on social media — I felt the words in my soul.

The meme: “Everyone talks about how it takes a village to raise a kid, but no one ever talks about what it’s like when you don’t have one.”

I know for an unequivocal fact that it is not a Mandela Effect — I literally spent weeks at a time over the summer and during holiday breaks with my extended family — aunts, uncles, grandparents — you name ‘em and I bet my much older sister and I stayed with them at least once.

Lately, there have been many social media videos and postings of, usually mothers in tears, describing the struggle of trying to keep up in this ever-changing economic world without the aid of a village — family members, friends, or neighbors. As a parent, I not only understand, but I also live this frustration. After all, everyone needs a break, for mental health reasons if no other.

Growing up, I spent a lot of time, as most of my generation did, running around neighborhoods, and believe me, I not only witnessed other children being reprimanded by the neighbors, but I, myself, may have been once or twice also. I’m sure most of us are familiar with the obligatory phone call home to our parents as well.

Like it or not, it does in fact take a village to raise a child.

A child must have positive interactions with law enforcement to accept the need for societal law and order, as well as to develop respect and comfort when approaching an officer. A child must feel safe in school and the parent should feel equally confident their child’s teacher is aware of what is going on with the child during the hours they are entrusted in their care. Every adult involved in a child’s life has influence—be it good or bad.

Parenting does start at home, but it doesn’t stop there.

Too often people blame only the parents as though the child’s behavior occurred in a vacuum.

It didn’t.

These days, parents have more dangers and outside influences to protect their kids from than ever before — and they have never been more exhausted! By the time our children are acting out on the streets they have already been influenced by social media and culture, as well as by their family and friends. Now, instead of intervening, the village is whipping out their phones and filming, and somehow this seems to be contributing to the downfall of society rather than improving it.

Children are our future and the adult is a replica of the society it grew up in — not just of its family unit.

Current American society no longer appears to cherish family time in the same way it used to. The days of knowing the names of our cousins and their children seem to be as long gone as those of having annual family get-togethers and reunions.

Tired, overworked parents who need to recharge are having to rely on both trusting and paying a stranger to watch their child. What if they can’t afford it? We preach mental health, but where is the conversation regarding helping parents or offering resources? Where have all the villagers gone?