Tea and Testimonies event brings attention to sexual assault

BENNETTSVILLE—April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. And though it’s a tough conversation to have, The Pee Dee Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Assault believes it needs to be had.

On April 27, The Pee Dee Coalition of Marlboro County will host Tea and Testimonies in downtown Bennettsville.

Nefateri P. Smalls, a Hartsville native and Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, Certified Mental Health Coach, will be the speaker for the event. She is a member of the RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) Speakers Bureau.

According to her website, nefateripsmalls.com, “Nefateri’s life was shaped from having to face domestic violence, sexual assault, verbal, and emotional abuse. Though her defeats were stacked in mounds that could consume who she was, she has used each bout of defeat to catapult her to platforms advocating for awareness and advocacy for women and child abuse in any form.”

Smalls said, a lot of times when people have gone through abuse, they hear people talk about how things can get better.

“Oftentimes when you gone through that and someone can tell you that they’ve gone through something similar to what they’ve faced, it makes people more secure to open their mouths and talk about what they’ve gone through so that they can get to a better place.”

Smalls said many sexual abuse cases happen from people that you know or people the family knows. And victims feel a lot of shame about the assault, even though they have done nothing wrong.

“The families who they sometimes allow those who have been sexually abuse to not deal with it or talk about it because it may bring embarrassment to them,” she said. “It is extremely important for families to be supportive because it helps (Survivors) to heal and know that they are not alone. One of the things I’ve learned, and not just from my personal experience but others that I’ve worked with, a lot of times families try to do the old ‘sweep it under the rug’ moment. That revictimizes the individual. Not only was I sexually abused, but I now also don’t have anyone who believes me. Having family support is extremely big for anyone who has been abused,” she said.

Smalls said when her assault was reported to the Department of Social Services, the case was dropped and her family put her out of the home. “I bounced around from house to house without the support that I should’ve gotten. That made it very difficult. It wasn’t until many years after that, that I started doing some work specifically for the fact that I was raped.”

Smalls said so many cases of sexual assault go unreported because of the stigma associated with coming forward, especially in small towns. According to ruralhealthinfo.org, the rates of rape are higher in nonmetropolitan areas. “Like many other violent crimes in rural communities, sexual violence is often underreported. In the BJS 2006-2010 report, on average 65% of rapes and sexual assaults were not reported,” the report stated.

Wendy Woods, Marlboro County Services Coordinator for the Pee Dee Coalition, said the Tea and Testimonies event is open to the public and is a chance for the community to feel inspired and get information that they can take with them.

“And we want them to be uplifted, we want them to know that you can go through things in life, as horrific as it is, and still be a survivor,” she said.

Though the Pee Dee Coalition offers sexual assault and domestic violence services for victims, Woods said they don’t have a lot of people seeking out those services. “Of course, both are situations where the victim is silent, but specifically when it comes to sexual assault, you’re talking about a topic that is very personal but the dynamics of living in a small community, there’s shame that people think of, which is unwarranted because no is no. No one should make you feel like you’ve done something wrong.”

Denine Mitchell, who is over the sexual assault program for the Pee Dee Coalition, the lack of knowledge about what consent is and harmful victim blaming is why it’s important to have conversations about sexual assault.

Mitchell said it’s important to listen to a person coming forward and validate their feelings so they can help them by being a secondary supporter. “I know this conversation can be very difficult for people to have and people can get very quiet when it comes to the topic of sexual assault. It’s scary for a lot of people and it can be uncomfortable for a lot of people. I just want to encourage people to become comfortable in that uncomfortableness.

If you or someone you know needs support following a sexual assault, contact the Pee Dee Coalition at (843) 479-0882. The 24-hour crisis line number is (843) 669-4600.

Teas and Testimonies

Saturday, April 27

The Skye, 210 E. Main St., Bennettsville

11 a.m. to 1 p.m.