As we approach a holiday season centered largely around food, I am once again finding myself increasingly irritated by the safety pull-tabs found on nearly all our food products.
Yes, I admit it, I have beef with this ridiculous move to force pull-tabs on unwitting consumers.
The pull-tab as a form of protection is both inefficient and beyond irritating. If this pull-tab thing is as infallible as they would like us to believe, why is a two-inch-thick plastic sheaf now also needed to be wrapped around the outside of the product?
Y’all know the plastic sheaf — the one so thick some type of weapon is needed to remove it.
Once you break through the product’s protective wrappings, nine out of ten times, you’re going to twist the cap open and find a pull tab sneering up at you.
Now you are faced with the real dilemma because that pesky pull-tab almost always breaks off without so much as lifting a corner of itself from the product. Heaven help you if you are someone who just got their “holiday nails” done at the salon. Nothing says holiday cheer better than a ruined manicure.
During the struggle to rip the loathsome pull-tab off, half the time you end up doused in whatever the product — spices, liquids, [OJ you are the worst!] some other unidentifiable goo — is. Again, nothing shouts holiday fun more than a ruined outfit when company is already on their way.
Now I ask you, fellow American consumers, is this hassle even necessary? And during the holidays too?
Americans should go back to being more worried about refereeing family members over their seating arrangements than having murderous meltdowns in the kitchen over product safety.
Honestly, the unnecessarily thick plastic on the outside of the bottle should be sufficient to deter food tamperers.
I say, save the nails and clothes. Forget this antiquated and annoying form of product protection.
Instead, I feel the biscuit makers are on to something because I have discovered slamming a biscuit can against something until I hear a satisfying “pop” to be a far more enjoyable interaction.
If society is going to arbitrarily cancel things — it is my opinion that we should have started with the safety pull-tab. Luckily, for us all, it is still not too late. This unwelcome havoc in the kitchen can still be eliminated. As has been shown by various other cancellation campaigns, all we need to do is stick together America. Let’s make our voices heard this holiday season and ban the pull-tab today!