BENNETTSVILLE— August is Don’t be a Bully Month and in an effort to bring awareness, the Herald-Advocate spoke with local mom Nesha Cook, founder of anti-bullying club, Nah’Zia’s Corner.
Cook started the space after losing her beloved 10-year-old daughter, Nah’Zia, to suicide after bullying.
Finding her purpose
“Nah’Zia experienced repeated bullying and died by suicide in October of 2022. Suicide is complex and cannot be reduced to one cause, but bullying was a significant part of the pain she carried. I share her story to protect other children, but I also want Nah’Zia to be remembered for how she lived, not only for how she died,” Cook explains.
She remembers her daughter coming home from school about two weeks before she passed, seeming very withdrawn.
Cook said, “She came home extremely sad because children were picking on her again. When I asked whether she wanted to return to counseling and told her I was going to go to the school she said it doesn’t matter, it wouldn’t help, nothing matters, they will still bully me.”
She points out that just because a child returns to their normal routine, it does not mean the pain they feel has gone away.
“Nah’Zia isolated herself that day but seemed like herself again the next day. Looking back, I wonder whether she was trying to tell me she was losing hope.”
How can parents help?
She says it’s important for parents to pay attention to every little thing going on with their child.
“Parents should pay attention to changes in mood, sleeping, eating, friendships, grades, school attendance and interest in activities,” says Cook, also adding that a child withdrawing, making hopeless statements, or giving away toys and special mementos can also be warning signs.
“Bullying is not a right of passage, and this is not about whether children today are too sensitive. Children now face bullying at school and through social media, group chats and online gaming, meaning the harm can follow them home around the clock,” Cook said.
She emphasizes that parents, and other adults, need to lead by example.
Cook stresses, “We cannot gossip, criticize people’s appearances or laugh at someone’s pain and then expect our children to behave differently. Ask your child more than how was school, ask who they spent their time with, whether anyone embarrassed or excluded them, whether they witnessed someone being mistreated and whether they have participated just to fit in.”
She says all adults should safely intervene if they witness an incident of bullying.
“Make sure the child is protected, document what happened, report it and follow up. Tell the child, ‘I saw what happened, it was not your fault and you did not deserve it.’ Adults should not dismiss bullying as children joking around are forced the children to immediately confront each other and make up. They should also address the bystanders because laughing, recording or sharing hurtful content contributes to the harm,” Cook said.
Are schools doing enough?
“I cannot speak for every school, but bullying is often handled as a disagreement between children instead of a repeated pattern that has made one child feel unsafe. And, in our experience, that response does not provide the lasting protection children need. Schools should document every report, notify parents of every party, investigate patterns, create written safety plans and follow up consistently,” Cook suggests.
Providing counseling, allowing for anonymous reporting options to trusted adults, offering protection from retaliation and meaningful intervention for the child causing harm, are all ideas Cook advances to help deal with bullying in schools.
She says, “The child being bullied and their parents should not carry the burden of solving the problem.”
How to get involved
Cook launched Nah’Zia’s corner in memory of her daughter to prevent bullying, promote mental health awareness and provide children with a safe, supportive space.
She explains, “Our safe space club helps children build confidence, learn coping and conflict resolution skills, form positive friendships and understand that their feelings and voices matter. It is free and open to all school age children.”
Nah’Zia’s Corner meets every Monday from 5:00 until 7:00 p.m. at the Bennettsville Community Center located at 714 North Marlboro street in Bennettsville.
While the club does not currently operate a school-based program, Cooks says a long-term goal of hers is to partner with area schools.
“I would welcome the opportunity to partner with area schools. A student-led club supported by trained adults could promote kindness, leadership and safe intervention while giving students a greater role in improving their school culture. Most importantly, listen and continue checking in even after the child appears better. Every child needs to know that they matter, their voice matters and their life is worth fighting for.” She continued, “Nah’Zia Abrianna Cook was my beautiful daughter. She was bright, funny, unique and unapologetically herself. She loved learning, science and outer space. She was loved, she had dreams and she deserved the opportunity to grow up.”