This Women’s History Month I would like to honor a woman who has left an immeasurable impression on me; my mother-in-law Mrs. Mary “Lou” Louise Monica.
My grandmother, another woman who has had a major impact on shaping me, was named after Ruth from the Bible. Because of her name, and my great admiration for her, the book of Ruth has always been near and dear to my heart.
For those who may not know, Ruth was a Moabite woman who married into a Jewish family of which Naomi was the matriarch. In addition to Ruth, Naomi had one other daughter-in-law. When Naomi’s sons died, she begged her daughters to return to their own families, saying she could make her own way. Ruth alone refused to leave the side of her mother-in-law, following her to live in the lands of her people.
There is of course more to the story, but the main point for me in this article is this — I always hoped that if I got married, I would have a mother-in-law I loved the same way Ruth loved Naomi — and I found that in Mary Lou.
To have known Mary Lou is to love her.
My husband brought me to meet her for Christmas dinner, her favorite holiday, so, definitely no pressure on me there or anything. Luckily, I came bearing gifts for both her and my soon to be father-in-law because that wonderful woman not only made sure I felt completely at ease, but she also gifted me a beautiful necklace of a cross that I will treasure always.
When our daughter was born Mary Lou came and stayed two weeks with us.
Through late night feedings, diaper changes, and first doctor appointments — Mary Lou might have been bleary eyed from sleep deprivation as were we all, but she was there.
My mother-in-law took me in as her own daughter.
Whenever I got a new job or a promotion at work — she was there. Her extended family and friends had to hear about “how wonderful” both my daughter and I are ad nauseum from her — still sorry about that, guys!
Because I battle autoimmune disease, my mother-in-law often saw me at my worst and more than once had to drive me to the ER.
When my husband and I first moved to New York we briefly lived with them. While there, one of Mary Lou’s favorite activities was creeping down the stairs in a vain attempt to overhear my husband and I’s conversations. Having bad knees, she would quickly get tired and come the rest of the way down and just outright ask, “What’s the matter? What’s going on?”
There was never anything the matter, my husband and I honestly almost never fight, but it was comical and my husband loved to mess with her about it because that apple didn’t fall far from the tree, if you know what I mean.
I have never had a lot of support or encouragement, so Mary Lou’s meant the world to me. Whenever the world felt against me I not only knew, I felt her support. She had my back as if I were her own flesh and blood. She helped me find my voice after I allowed it to be muted and lost.
Everyone needs the love, support and encouragement of a Mary Lou in their lives. I will forever treasure the time I had with mine.